So here I am ……..I survived ….

DoorAs with most things in life, there’s little to be afraid of. All you have to do is step forward and do the things you’ve been nudged to do from within. I am being nudged. It is pretty staggering.

I have begun to think a lot.

If what I am doing is really changing lives then I must get out into the world in a bigger way. I need to expand and better explain. That is my intention.

Miracles have happened to me since I was born in 1953, and because of them I evolved into who I am today.

Here are a few of them:

* When I was 15 years of age my stepmother attempted to kill me by smothering me with a pillow. I had endured five years of emotional and physical abuse from here already. I still get scared when someone covers my face with anything, even in jest. I was fortunate that a friend came to the door and heard the commotion and just came right in and pushed my stepmother off of me and pulled me out of the chair. I never in my life was so scared as when I couldn’t catch a breath. I grew in my life from that experience and I became bolder in never letting my stepmother touch me again. Whew!

* When I started doing drugs at age 14, it was just a bit of this and a bit of that here and there. After several years, I was evolving into more dangerous drugs. At age 16 I overdosed during a time that I was on the run and staying with friends in an abandoned apartment. I had a very negative experience with taking far too many “Reds”, as we called them.  It was actually Secobarbital or Seconal, a barbiturate. I was alone in this abandoned apartment with my then boyfriend Steve for 2 days while he tried to awaken me. After 2 days he decoded to call my father and tell him where I was and that I was “sick”. I was taken to the hospital and detoxified. I was a lucky girl the doctor said. I was dehydrated and on the brink of being in a coma. Major changes came in my life after that , although life for me was still not easy or effortless for a very long time.

* When I was 21 I was in a head on car crash, and I walked away with just a few bruises and scrapes and cuts and a sprained ankle. The car was totaled. Actually the front of the car was torn completely off.

I was sleeping in the front passenger seat, and the person driving, a schoolmate, fell asleep at the wheel  while we were driving thorough Los Angeles at 1am. I felt someone pull me up by the shoulders and towards the back seat just seconds before the crash.

Had I remained where I was, there was no doubt I would have been crushed. I always said it felt like my mother who was there that early morning. Every time I think about the experience, I smile, a lot. The forces were with me and my life was spared again.

* At age 25 I was married, unhappily. Unknown to me at the time, I was pregnant.

Came to be that I was about 2 months into he pregnancy. I stayed home from work that day as I was not feeling well.  I was on my “period” I thought. However, throughout the day it became heavier and heavies to the point I was just plain bleeding, and it was clumps of blood. I called my OBGYN who told me to come straight in, right away.

I called my husband at work and let him know, and he refuse to “baby me” by coming home and leaving work. So I called a taxi. On the way to the doctor I passed out in the cab and the driver actually ran upstairs to my doctor’s office to get help. I was immediately rushed into surgery as I was bleeding out.

They performed an emergency D&C. The cab driver left, without payment, without saying a word. I probably scared the hell out of him!

My husband showed up several hours later and my amazing doctor who I had seen for about 5 years gave my husband one heck of a dressing down for not rushing me over as was requested. Had I stayed at home, or been left unattended, I most likely would have bled to death from the miscarriage.

*When I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Melanoma in February of 1990, I was not sure what to think in that very instant. I was just 36 years of age. I wanted to run right out of the doctor’s office and never look back.

However, my first thought was …. I am a mother. My daughter is 2-1/2 years of age. I am not leaving her!

Just 7 days after my diagnosis I was in the hospital for major and radical surgery. It seemed like a dream it was happening so quickly. Finding a clear thought was nearly impossible. However, every impulse I had was to live. The result was a miracle. I am now still here in 2013. I get it … people die form cancer … all kinds of cancer …. each and every day. I had an out-of-body experience during my surgery. My life that followed was never the same again and it ended my marriage.

This was a big thing that happened …. my life being spared again.

* I moved to Boulder, Colorado in August 2011.  Late November 2011, after returning from a trip to Japan, I collapsed in my room. I had, what I thought was the flu, for several days before. Now, here I was tearing off all my clothes, and mumbling and doing things that i have no memory of. Fortunately my roommate came home just in time. I was in so much pain, was vomiting, and was making no sense at all.  He drove me to the hospital, where I collapsed even before getting to the emergency room check in desk. I was in such pain, in my head, that I literally “checked out” and went to another place. It came to be that I had a brain virus, and my brain was swelling up against my skull.

Viral encephalitis is inflammation of the brain caused by a virus. The major risk from viral meningitis is permanent brain damage. Adults aged 55 years and over are more vulnerable to life threatening complications. I was 59 .Once the viruses have gained access to the bloodstream, they multiply and head to the spinal cord and brain (central nervous system). Access to the brain is by blood or nerves. After breaching the blood–brain barrier, the viruses slip inside brain cells.

This disrupts, damages and ultimately ruptures the infected brain cells. Had I not arrived at the hospital when I did, most likely my fever would have spiked, I would have lost consciousness, and I would have died. Unlike bacteria, viruses are difficult to treat and because this ended up being an unknown virus, I had to stay in the hospital and just wait it out. I was sick for a total of two weeks and then it took me another month after to really recover. Again, my life was spared.

All of these situations changed my life. This is the wild, wonderful life I have been given.

I live in wonderment each and every day as to what still lies ahead for me!

Miracles happen all the time. Why do you think that is? There are easy paths through life and there are hard paths through life. You can take the easy path or you can take the hard path. It is all your choice. Yes, I have been unhappy in my life.

I can say, however, that right now, I am happier than any other time in my life, ever. I am still enjoying the ride!

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